I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
