i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All the doctor said was why
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
