i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
