Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
