He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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