I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
