So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
