he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
