Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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