She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
