He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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