wat bout pragnant strippers??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
