wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
