How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
