i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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