I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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