I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
