just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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