What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
