I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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