I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
