Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
