we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
