oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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