im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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