im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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