I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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