whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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