Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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