so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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