I got chris browned last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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