This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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