She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
