Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
