you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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