We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Welp...herpes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
