What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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