He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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