ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize