if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
