This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
