I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
