she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
