We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
