i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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