2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
