i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
