Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
