what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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