She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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