I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
