Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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