is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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