You can't motorboat a personality
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
