I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
