we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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