This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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