Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize