No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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