i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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