Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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