I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You need a sexual gate keeper
did you just send me my own nude
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
