Where did you get a picture of my penis
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize