Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize