i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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