guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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